Brad Stulberg's The Practice of Groundedness is based on the idea of staying present in the moment and being aware of one's thoughts and emotions. The concepts discussed in this book have been incredibly impactful to my approach in life recently and have shifted my mindset. The theory of groundedness can improve one's ability to stay present and engaged in the moment, leading to a greater sense of mindfulness and awareness. Here are three lessons that can be learned from this practice.
1) The Acceptance and Commitment Theory (ACT)
Accept what is happening without fusing your identity to it. Zoom out to a larger perspective or awareness from which you can observe your situation without feeling like you’re trapped in it.
Choose how you want to move forward in a way that aligns with your innermost values.
Take action, even if doing so feels scary or uncomfortable.
Rather than getting stuck within the moment when something doesn’t go our way, ACT helps us through it. It functions as a guide when we’re not sure which direction to move when confronted with a tough decision. We need to accept what’s happening, whether we like it or not, and act according to our values.
Let’s say that you’ve just lost your job and have been struggling mentally with how to deal with the situation. Rather than staying at home and sulking in the emotions of this scenario, we can use the Acceptance and Commitment Theory.
First, you need to accept the situation that you're in. You are not permanently unemployed, you are just unemployed for now. When moving forward with this we have two choices; to continue to feel bad for ourselves or to take action. Taking action means to put yourself out there and apply for new jobs or create something of your own.
Of course this is going to be scary and uncomfortable at first, but what comes of it will open new doors and opportunities. Next time you’re feeling stuck or in a slump, try using ACT to navigate through it.
2) Stop ‘Shoulding’ all over yourself.
Change your internal language from I:
should
have to
need to
To more positive language like I:
get to
want to
choose to
“Our language is our reality” and how we speak to ourselves matters. Thoughts create our reality and vocabulary is a symptom of our thinking.
Imagine that you want to learn how to play the guitar. As you move forward with this idea, at some point you are confronted by the decision of moving forward with it or not. If you choose to tell yourself “I can’t do it” then it’s most likely that you won’t. However, if you respond with something more like “I haven’t learned how to do this yet” then it turns your idea into an opportunity. An opportunity to grow within yourself and gain more control over your thoughts.
3) Less candy, more nourishment.
All distractions in today's society are like candy. We crave it and it tastes good while we eat it but it’s empty calories that never fill us up. It actually makes us feel gross, especially in larger quantities.
It's hard to choose the rice and vegetables if you’re constantly surrounded by peanut m&m’s. When we’re rushed we choose the peanut m&m’s over the rice, even if we know rice is more nourishing. Apply this to life - choose a book over social media, a healthy home cooked meal over fast food, and exercise over television. The easiest decision isn’t always the right decision. The focus must be on nourishment, not only for your body, but for your mind.
The benefits of groundedness can be wide-ranging and may vary from person to person. In my experience the more grounded I become, the more in control of my life I feel. If you are interested in exploring this further I encourage you to check out The Practice of Groundedness.
Awesome advice, I love it!