Over the past sixteen months, anytime that I’ve told someone that I’m walking from the border of Mexico to the border of Canada, the very next thing to come out of that person’s mouth is usually, 'why?' Why the hell am I walking 2,650 miles through rugged mountains and desert with nothing but a backpack? To be honest, it’s a very reasonable question. It’s a question that I’ve spent the entire last year sitting on.
To correctly answer this question, we must go back a little bit.
My whole life I’ve traveled up and down the east coast playing baseball. I got to see a lot of the country because of the sport and playing in college expanded that opportunity even further. While making memories along the east coast, I saw small towns and cities from Massachusetts to Florida, but I never went West of Ohio. I’d traveled, but not really traveled.
There was something deep inside of me that appealed to me about the west coast, but I just wasn’t sure what. I wanted to see it, simply because it was there. It wasn’t until baseball left my life that I finally followed that intuitive feeling.
Life after baseball was hard for me. I was experiencing loss like I hadn’t before. Within a few months I lost my truest life’s passion, baseball, and the first girl I had ever loved. It sucked and I was down. Heartbreak came in more ways than one.
In March of 2019, I booked a flight to San Francisco with two friends and we headed to the mountains not knowing what to expect.
We spent four days in the park like kids on a playground and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was consumed by the landscape like never before. I fell in love with the adventure. Ironically enough, of all places it was in Yosemite National Park, in the heart of Sierra Nevada mountains. Being there, being in it, made me forget the rest of the world, the rest of my problems. It wasn’t until we left that I realized the impact that it had on me. From that moment until today, I haven’t stopped searching for that feeling.
After coming back home to New Jersey, I felt like I’d discovered something that I just couldn’t ignore. Both being in the mountains and exploring the vastness of the United States made me feel a sense of clarity and presence that I’d never experienced. It only made sense that I explored that feeling more and more. So, I did.
Any chance that I got, I made a beeline for the mountains or took a road trip to a new national park. During that process, I found that hiking was the ultimate way to immerse myself within these environments. I’d never really done much hiking or camping in my life before this. I liked the experience of being alone and self-sufficient in nature, from physically learning to navigate rugged environments to mentally dealing with brutal terrain. In the beginning, there were many times that I was defeated by the mountain or felt uncomfortable in an environment I was in, and boy was that humbling. I was constantly being put in my place by nothing but a big old rock. However, as I gained more experience in the woods, I gained more confidence in my abilities as well.
The further away from home I ventured out to hike, the more I found myself tackling bigger and bigger mountains in more remote wilderness. Those days allowed me nothing but time to think. I thought about myself, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do with my life. The peacefulness of the woods gave me no other choice than to tackle the anxieties and thoughts at the forefront of my mind.
In life, I’ve constantly strived for a challenge. I’ve always been searching for the next thing to push me into a higher gear -- mentally and emotionally. Whether it was on the mound, in the weight room, or something as simple as playing a family member in checkers … I wanted to win! I wanted to be the best at what I was doing and still feel that way today. To me, easy is boring. Easy gets you nowhere. That feeling of an easy win, just isn’t as sweet. Shortcuts in life can hurt you, and in the mountains, they can kill you.
So, let’s revisit the question one more time, why the pacific crest trail?
My why for the PCT is highly emotional. I know that the trail is a place where I will be challenged day in and day out physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s a place where I’ll have nothing but time to think. To think about everything in my life and the purpose behind it all. To really tackle my mental health and get in touch with all things inside of my head. I’m doing it to see the country in a way that not many others have. I’m doing it to show not only myself that anything is possible, but for everyone around me as well. We live in a world of what ifs, and I’m going to make damn sure this isn’t something I pass up on. Life is too short to sit behind a desk and do something you’re not passionate about. I want to inspire and motivate people to reach their goals and to show them that they’re not nearly as far away as they think they are. It just takes one step to get away from something mundane to start moving in the direction you want your life to go. Enough of the talking… let's get walking.
Opmerkingen